Michelle Malkin

I wanted to talk about all of the talk about invading Iran, but thought I'd rather post an irreverent little blog entry about my favorite neocon, Michelle Malkin. She's active, entertaining, outrageous, virulently Islamophobic, and perplexingly xenophobic. She reminds me of of Ann Coulter, except that she wouldn't quite fit in with a band of neo-nazi's (like Ann would) and doesn't have that huge Adam's apple (I know its bad to insult others, God forgive me).

She probably would fit in with a band of Mexicans or Philipinos, members of immigrant groups that she bashes consistently on her website, day-in, day-out. She's like an Asian Uncle Tom. Her defence of the white establishment is so unashamedly vehement and irrational I find myself wondering if it wouldn't be better that her last name was Buchanan? I wonder what the odds are that she has a white husband to go along with her little white kids?

Come to think of it, she reminds me of the white supremacist character from the wildly popular skit from the Dave Chappelle (he's Muslim by-the-way) show whose blindness prevents him from realizing the fact that he's actually black.

Some of her immutable laws:

• Always attack the victim (for example, she will always look for examples of whites being victim to blacks even though blacks have suffered through slavery, the Jim Crow era, southern lynchamania, the KKK, the civil rights war, police brutality, Katrina, etc.)
• Side with her enemies, as long as they are enemies of Muslims (She says she is not a fan of South Park, until the show starts panning the Muslims, then she starts having second thoughts. She seems to be against the secular, snooty, America-hating, Bush-bashing Europeans like the French and Danish. As soon as they start banning headscarves and lampooning the Prophet, she's all for them).
• Advocate free speech democracy, attack those who speak freely (Seymour Hersh writes an article about what all the neocons have been salivating about for years, the planning for the attack on the Islamic Republic of Iran, she says Hersh is blowing America's cover)
• Mudsling, insult, incite (Calls people "moonbats, scumbags" and God knows what else. Attacks anyone who has the gall to suggest we should not attack Iraq, Iran, Syria, or any other Muslim country she has a pathological hatred for. She will attack a Muslim for bending the truth about the Muhammad cartoons, but won't say bad word about the incessant lying from the Bush administration).

I'd love to write a blog dedicated to all things Michelle and entitle it "antiMalkin." But alas, I sadly possess neither the time or the hatred to pull it off. I'll just have to be satisfied getting by with a chuckle after skimming her daily doses of hysterics and bluster, commenting occasionally on this blog and waiting for the day she finally mellows out.